For Teens:

You Aren't Overreacting-- You are Overwhelmed (and what to do about it)

Amy Bassett-Wells M.Ed., LPC

Therapy-Tree Mental Health Counseling

Trauma Informed Care Across Texas

If you’ve ever felt like your emotions come out of nowhere, hit like a wave, or take over before you even know what’s happening—you’re not alone.

Being a teen means dealing with a lot of change, a lot of pressure, and a lot of feelings. Big emotions are completely normal at this stage of life. But just because emotions can feel intense doesn’t mean you’re stuck.

Emotional regulation is a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and strengthened over time.

Why it works: Naming your feeling helps shift activity from the emotional part of your brain to the thinking part. It doesn’t erase the emotion, but it makes it easier to manage.

Name It To Tame It

When you’re in the middle of a strong emotion, your brain can feel fuzzy or out of control. But something powerful happens when you stop and name what you’re feeling.

Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” try something like:

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

• “I think this is anxiety.”

• “I’m starting to feel shut down.”

Why it works: Your body sends messages to your brain. When you calm the body, the brain starts to follow.

Pause Your Body, Not Just Your Brain

When emotions hit hard, your body reacts. You might feel hot, shaky, frozen, or tense. These are all signs that your nervous system is activated—and it needs help calming down.

Butterfly Hug

Cross your arms and tap gently on your shoulders, left–right–left–right. Breathe slowly. Try to visualize something pleasant or tell yourself positive affirmations.

4-7-8 Breathing

Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Repeat 3 times. This breathing practice is a very powerful tool for regulating your nervous system.

Grounding Touch

Hold something cold (like an ice cube or cool water bottle) to bring your focus back to your body. This can work with heat as well.

Use the STOP Skill (from DBT)

This tool helps you pause before reacting impulsively when emotions are high:

S – Stop. Don’t move or speak just yet.

T – Take a breath.

O – Observe. What am I feeling? What’s happening in my body?

P – Proceed mindfully. What’s the next best move?

Why it works: This gives your brain time to catch up and make choices—not just react.

Get Creative With Coping

Emotions need a place to go. If they stay bottled up, they often explode later. Expressing feelings can help release that pressure.

Try:

• Drawing, painting, journaling

• Making a playlist for specific moods

• Moving your body—walk, dance, stretch

• Talking to someone who won’t judge

Just remember, coping skills aren't one-size-fits-all. Experiment with several to find what works best to calm YOUR nervous system.

Know Your Triggers--And Your Tools

We all have things that make us more likely to get dysregulated—like being tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or overstimulated. Learning to spot your warning signs early is a game changer.

Ask yourself:

• What usually sets me off?

• How does it feel right before I lose control?

• What helps me come back to calm?

Your therapist might help you build a “personal regulation plan” so you know what to do before things boil over.

It's Okay to Ask for Help

Regulation doesn’t mean being calm all the time. It means learning to recover when things get intense. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

If you’re struggling with big feelings, outbursts, shutdowns, or emotional overload—it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Therapy is a place where you can learn tools, talk it out, and understand yourself better.

Building emotional regulation takes time, practice, and self-compassion. Some days will feel messy—and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re learning how to ride the waves, not drown in them.

Therapy-Tree works with teens across Texas build real tools for real life. Virtual counseling that meets you where you are.

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