The Brain Lab

Before becoming a therapist, I worked as a school counselor, where a big part of my work involved helping children understand what was happening inside their brains and bodies when they became overwhelmed. One of my favorite projects from that time was our Brain Lab — a space where students could learn about their brain states, notice what their bodies were telling them, and practice different ways of regulating.

The Brain Lab was influenced by Dr. Bruce Perry's work and the Neurosequential Model in Education. Although it was created for children, the basic idea applies throughout our lives: when our nervous system senses stress or danger, the parts of the brain responsible for reasoning, planning, learning, and communicating don't always have full access to the resources they normally do.

I developed the Brain Lab as a hands-on way for students to experience the ideas behind Dr. Bruce Perry's Regulate, Relate, Reason framework. Rather than only teaching children about regulation, I organized the space into stations where students could experience and practice strategies connected with regulation, connection, and higher-level thinking.

Why regulation comes first

When we're calm and feel safe enough, we're better able to think, learn, communicate, solve problems, and make thoughtful choices. As stress increases, the brain begins shifting resources toward protection. We may become more reactive, restless, impulsive, emotional, shut down, or unable to think clearly.

This is one reason telling an overwhelmed child...or adult...to “calm down” or immediately explain what happened often doesn't work very well. The brain may simply not be ready for reasoning yet. Helping the body settle can make it easier for the thinking parts of the brain to come back online.

Regulate → Relate → Reason

Dr. Bruce Perry describes a sequence that can be helpful when someone is overwhelmed: regulate, relate, then reason. We first help the nervous system move toward a more manageable state. Connection and felt safety come next. Once the brain is more regulated and connected, talking, problem-solving, learning, and reflection become much easier.

This was one of the ideas behind the Brain Lab. Rather than treating regulation as something children should already know how to do, we gave them opportunities to practice it and discover which strategies actually worked for their bodies.

Different brains may need different things

One of the things I loved about the Brain Lab was that regulation wasn't reduced to “sit still and take a deep breath.” Some nervous systems settle through quiet breathing or grounding, while others need movement, rhythm, sensory input, pressure, connection, or a chance to step away from stimulation.

Learning to regulate is partly about building a toolbox and partly about learning yourself: What does my body feel like when I'm becoming overwhelmed? What helps me come back? What works for me in this particular moment? Those are skills we can continue developing long after childhood.