Connection & Co-Regulation Activities for Kids:
Connection & Co-Regulation Activities for Kids:
The "Relate" part of Regulate > Relate > Reason
Connection comes before problem-solving
Connection comes before problem-solving
Once a child has had a chance to regulate, the next part of the Brain Lab is Relate. In my original Brain Lab, I called this the Relation Station.
The idea behind this station is pretty simple: before we expect kids to talk through a problem, reflect on what happened, or make a better choice, it helps for them to feel connected to another person. Sometimes that connection happens through conversation, but it doesn't have to. Playing a quick game, doing something together, laughing, or simply spending a few minutes coregulating with a calm adult can help a child become more available for whatever comes next.
Connection Doesn't Have to Mean Talking About What Happened
Connection Doesn't Have to Mean Talking About What Happened
When a child has just been upset, the Relation Station isn't necessarily the place to start asking questions about the problem. There will be time for that during Reason.
Instead, this part of the Brain Lab gives the child an opportunity to connect without pressure. A quick game of Uno, tossing a ball back and forth, working on something together, or sharing a few minutes of an activity can create connection without requiring a child to explain themselves.
For some kids, this is much easier than sitting face-to-face with an adult and being asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
What Goes in a Relation Station?
What Goes in a Relation Station?
You don't need much. I like activities that are easy to start, don't take long to finish, and allow an adult and child to do something together. Creating an inviting area helps a lot. Avoid harsh fluorescent lights (get donated lamps and use natural lighting). Below are some ideas to make the space feel inviting as well as some quick activities to help students feel comfortable to connect with an adult or a peer. Honestly though, if you have markers and paper, drawing together is a free activity that can be very connecting.
Calming Wall Tapestry
Wall Decal
Conversation Cubes
Feelings Tower
Mad Libs
A Little Spot of Emotions
Basic Sand Tray Kit
Rhythm & Back-and-Forth
Rhythm & Back-and-Forth
Some activities naturally create a back-and-forth rhythm between two people. Tossing a soft ball, mirroring movements, passing an object, clapping a pattern for the other person to copy, or making music together can bring regulation and connection together.
This can be especially useful for kids who aren't ready for much talking.
Things I Would Put Here
Soft toss ball
Beanbags
Rhythm instruments
Simple movement or mirroring activities
The Adult Is Part of the Station
The Adult Is Part of the Station
The Relation Station isn't just another collection of things for a child to do independently. The relationship is the important part.
The adult doesn't need to turn the activity into a lesson or use the time to gather information about what happened. Being present, interested, playful, predictable, and calm may be enough.
A child who has just spent several minutes trying to regulate may also be watching the adult closely. Am I in trouble? Are you mad at me? Is it safe to be with you?
How the adult responds during those few minutes can matter more than which game is sitting on the shelf.
Follow the Child's Lead
Follow the Child's Lead
Not every child will want the same kind of connection. One may immediately grab a game. Another may want to draw while you sit nearby. Someone else may be ready to talk.
The goal isn't to force interaction. We're creating an opportunity for connection and paying attention to what helps that particular child feel comfortable and engaged.
Build Your Relation Station
Build Your Relation Station
If you're building a Calming Corner, Regulation Room, sensory space, Peace Area, or school Brain Lab, you don't need a large collection of materials. A few carefully chosen activities that encourage interaction are enough.A Relation Station can be very small. A basket with two or three games, a deck of cards, a soft ball, and a few shared activities may be plenty.
You can also use things you already have. Tic-tac-toe requires a piece of paper and a pencil. You can toss a crumpled piece of paper back and forth, draw together, tell jokes, play a hand-clapping game, or take a short nature walk. Connection doesn't require special equipment.
When They're Ready to Reason
When They're Ready to Reason
After a child has had an opportunity to regulate and reconnect, you may notice a shift. They may begin talking more naturally, become curious about what happened, or simply seem more available to think with you.
That's when we can move toward Reason.
This is the part of the Brain Lab where we can begin helping kids put words to what happened, think about another person's perspective, communicate what they need, repair a problem, or make a plan for what they might do next.
Next: The Reason Station
Next: The Reason Station
Regulate → Relate → Reason
Once the body is more regulated and connection has been reestablished, we have a much better foundation for reflection, communication, and problem-solving.
About these recommendations: Some links on this page are Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. I only include products that I believe may be useful for creating Brain Lab and regulation spaces for kids.
Page updated
Report abuse